Ballast Resistor. Gee. Id be willing to trade 2 lawns for it. Click on picture for figure out what the heck i'm talkin about, Willis.

Fed Up Resident Prompts Police to Blow Up Car

Monday, Monday...
I thought i'd start you guys off with something a bit humorous. Here are a list of rejected personalized plates for the NY DMV. Some are pretty hard to figure out. NO. "ILVFORD" wasn't rejected.

Can you figure them out? Give it a try and post what you think they are here!

WARNING: Adult content, slurs and racist words contained within. I didn't try to get theses plates, NY'rs did. (Im in NJ. We are all nice-nice here)

GM Introduces new all-terrain SUV The Borro. Cheap, fun to drive, and it makes its own gas. It has become quite popular with the "dot com crash" crowds. (Say 8x fast). Unfortunately it only comes with one cup holder. And you don't want to know where. Thanks to RRudd for this tip!

Car to burn?

General Motors introduces the disposible car. DETROIT--In a report released Monday, General Motors announced 56 percent growth for the first quarter of 2001, a profit increase company officials attributed to February's wildly successful launch of the GMC Whim, the first-ever non-refillable, disposable automobile.   Making their debut at a cost of $1,100 each, the vehicles are flying out of showrooms as quickly as dealers can stock them. Featuring factory-installed gasoline, an AM/FM radio with two preset stations, and a nine-volt battery to power the ignition, the Whim is attracting motorists looking for convenient, hassle-free transportation. more ;-) Thanks to Ray Funke for this tip!

Money to burn?

Question: How much would YOU spend on a NOS B-Body louvers? How about a 71 NOS Gull wing? Answer: More than I spent on my last 2 cars. Thanks to John Baker of the Motor City Mopar club for these links

Ballast Resistor (its the first thing that goes)

Your a Mopar nut if.... Think you know Mopar? Think you know it like the back of your greasy, dirty, oil encrusted hand? Try the Mopar Quiz! You are a Regular Nut if... You pay $350,000 for "used" Viper. Ok.. So it has this turbo thingy. Ok. So it has 2 turbo thingys. Ok. It goes 0-60 in 2.4 seconds. But 350k? It's a little steep. Thanks to Ted Moore, over at HemiNet for this link. Your just plain stupid... Ah.. This has to be seen to be appreciated. Take 1ugly new Firebird, add 1 dumb driver, subtract a clutch and 200 points of the IQ and this is what you get: (click on pic for video) UPDATE: Ive spoken to the driver. He seems pretty cool. But his taste in cars? Bleck! Great Men of our Time Everyone has God given talent. Some are great baskeball players like Micheal Jordan. Some are great minds like Albert Einstien. Some are great pioneers like Nikoli Tesla. And some men just look like Kenny Rogers.

Driver Needed Close Shave March 30, 2001 LISBON (Reuters) - A Portuguese motorist who was stopped for shaving while driving his car told police he had needed to smarten up for an important meeting. The young man had the driving mirror turned toward him as he cruised along a road in central Portugal late on Thursday, Portugal's Lusa news agency reported. Police have launched a campaign to reduce the number of accidents in Portugal, where road deaths are the highest per capita in Europe.

Want to waste time at work?
Try the online Drag Racing reaction time game! Its from the guys at Whit Blazemore and boy Its addictive! You'll need the lastest FLASH player if you want to try to win prizes for your speedy reaction time. I can't stop playing!! Thanks to Daty Rogers for this hot tip!

Mark Madson hoisted a 2,500-pound truck into the 30-foot tree as a clubhouse and romantic getaway for women. Geoff Krieger/AP Clinton man makes truck in tree into clubhouse, romantic getaway Associated Press CLINTON -- A man whose hobbies include stripping has hoisted a 1959 Chevrolet pickup into a 30-foot tree as a clubhouse and romantic getaway for women. Mark Madson, 48, used a crane to lift the 2,500-pound truck into the tree just off Interstate 43 near Beloit seven years ago. One of his favorite pastimes is climbing inside during windstorms andswaying, he said. "It's cool 'cause it's kind of rockin' and rollin'," Madson said. Madson performs once a year as a stripper during Wisconsin's fall hunting season. He says he guards the women while the men are away. Don't worry, Madson said. The tree truck is perfectly safe. He dumped five tons of dirt around the tree's base and bolted the truck's frame to the branches. Once, he wanted to see just how many people he could cram inside, so he sent eight or nine of his buddies up. They all sat inside and drank beer and ate pizza, Madson said. But Madson, who describes himself as "very single," said women love his hideaway most. "There's actually more women that want to go up in the treehouse than guys. Especially college girls," he said. Madson and his father, Hap Little, run the Little Limestone Co. from offices near the tree. "I claim no responsibility," Little, 74, said. Little watched stone-faced as his son described other exploits, including an attempt to build the world's largest weather vane -- a pickup atop a giant crane. It would have worked, too, Madson said, if he could have found a sponsor. He took the truck-treehouse down for a few months in 1997, replacing it with a homemade replica of the General Lee, the flame-orange Dodge Charger from the 1980s TV show "Dukes of Hazzard."

A fool and his money...
Got 20,000$ burning a hole in your pocket? This is in this months DuPont Registry Magazine. But here, ive included extra photos for you serious collectors. I'm not posting the number just to spare the guy from you guys pranking him! If you are seriously interested, send me an email.

Geez, It's a 74, so it doesn't even have all those high performance Gremlin parts ;-)
Click on seperate photos for oooh.. close-up photos!

Pretty Please?	Be Kind. Rewind.
Housebreaker Flees Scene, Forgets Car Wednesday March 21 7:57 AM ET KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters) - A Malaysian burglar disturbed while breaking into a house fled the scene without his getaway car then returned minutes later to ask for the keys. When the house's occupants refused, the man ripped off the car's license plates and smashed the windshield to remove its tax disc, local newspapers reported on Wednesday. Police plan to trace the man via the serial number on the car's chassis, Superintendent Che Sab Hanafiah told a news conference in the central peninsular Malaysia town of Ipoh. Che Sab said the burglar returned for the keys and pleaded with occupants not to call the police. He said two brothers in the house had heard strange noises early on Saturday and looked out to see a man fleeing on foot. Along with the car keys, the thief left tools of his trade including a cutter, spanner and a car jack, Che Sab added.	Students accidentally shown sexually explicit video Wednesday, March 21, 2001 SANTA FE — Some Santa Fe second-graders who sat down to see a taped school play saw a few seconds of a home video of a couple's sexual encounter. Several parents described the content as male buttocks. The tape was given to a teacher by another teacher at Acequia Madre Elementary. The second teacher's students used it to videotape their practice of a school production. (Gee. School plays are getting creative) But when the students sat down last month to watch the tape, part of what was on it previously had not been erased. Santa Fe public schools spokeswoman Joanne Ferguson says the students saw three to five seconds of home video of an intimate engagement between two people. Ferguson says the school district is dealing with the teacher who provided the tape. Ferguson declines to elaborate.
$50,000 bail set for woman charged in cruiser theft, crash By GIL BLISS Union Leader Correspondent AMHERST — A Manchester woman accused of stealing a Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Department cruiser and becoming involved in a multi-car crash on Route 101 was ordered held on $50,000 bail yesterday after the court was told she might flee to Florida. It was her third arrest for driving while intoxicated, police said. Donna M. Calvert initially was arrested by police in a harassment case for allegedly telephoning a Mason man 50 times in three days, ("You've called moviephone")and she was taken to the New Ipswich police station, according to Mason Police Chief Barry Hutchins. Then, with hands cuffed and feet shackled, she convinced a Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Department captain driving her to the state police barracks in Milford that she was going to be sick in the front seat of his cruiser. When he stopped on the side of Route 101 in Wilton to open her passenger door, she locked the doors behind him and escaped, leaving Capt. Joseph Broderick on the side of the road, state police said. Calvert, 40, then traveled through Milford and was in Amherst heading toward Manchester when she passed an Amherst police cruiser. She rapidly accelerated, crashing into a car carrying a mother and two children about a quarter-mile down the road. That vehicle then hit two other cars. State Trooper Thomas Forsley said yesterday in Milford District Court that Broderick was transporting Calvert to Milford in the front seat of an unmarked cruiser with no protective cage for prisoners. She was to have been transferred to a conventional van to be taken to the Hillsborough County jail in Manchester. more.

Lost in Translation
I could try to come up with something funny to comment about these photos. But, heck, why even try, when they speak for themselves. Thanks to Ray Funke for the pics! Click for bigger pictures.

Ask for the lube job special	Try the poopoo plater while your at it.

UPDATED:
OK OK OK! You guys asked for a picture, and you got it!
Here is the chick with the huge knockers!

(you must be 18 to view picture, its "work safe" though)

Who Farted? Well, now we know. ;-P

Geez.. What did Mark ever do to you? (Thats WD-40 for the curious ones) Thanks Dave P

How NOT to Write a For Sale ad
I saw this on Excite Classifieds and I had a good chuckle.
Here is a good example of what NOT to put in your classified ad. ;-)

Step One:It helps to not actually yell at the guys who may buy your car
Step Two: You may not want to include " did I tell you about the time I did a wheely with the car?"
Step Three: You may want to reconsider your username, MrPoopyIsABunny

Good Luck, Mr Poopy ;-)

I have a dream... Some people dream of flying to the moon. Some dream of become president. Others dream about being a sports star. This woman had one dream. A simple one. She wanted them. And she wanted them BIG. 40 pounds of pure, american sweathermeat.

Just plain wrong This showed up Ebay last year and at first I thought I was imagining it! Damn... wouldn't that look great in your dining room? NO! Thats a real hemi Bee! Ok.. I'm not sure it is. But hell, why waste the sheet metal?! You can click on the photos to the right to get higher resolution pictures. Can't say you'll ever see one of these again... thank god. Want to buy it? Just give this guy an email.

Got Gas?

SuperRice Burner

Back to work girls.

Three little words..
More hot chicks.

There will be no update tomorrow, as i will be shooting a TV commercial (no, silly, not for this site!) with 2 rather big celebrities..

Guess who, and ill give you a 1/18 Diecast Dodge Charger! No hints!

But you will be seeing them both all over TV this weekend.
2nd hint: Its a "family" show.

Guess here.

I hate the lemon ones too but this is ridiculous..
Teen-ager beaten after throwing candy at passing cars
7.43 a.m. ET (1259 GMT) February 28, 2001
HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) — A teen-ager who was throwing candy at passing cars was beaten unconscious by three men, police said.
Angel "Shaggy'' Rodriguez, 14, and a friend were walking home from an after-school program (probably wasn't "Why you shouldnt throw food at cars") Monday when they began tossing Skittles at passing vehicles, police said.
The men punched Rodriguez in the face until he fell, then stomped and kicked him in the head, police said.
Rodriguez's friend ran for help, and when he returned, Rodriguez was on a street corner unconscious.
The seventh-grader was taken to a Hartford hospital where he was in serious condition under police guard on Tuesday.
Police believe the attack was related to the boy's prank, but family members say it may have been tied to threats Rodriguez has received.
Police said they have no suspects. They described the attackers as men in their late teens or early 20s

Drunk Finds Cigarettes And Gasoline Don't Mix

He later returned in a Camaro to which the cinema owner replied "Hey..now you're the jackass"

And now...heres the picture!

You still can't pass a Mopar!

Why Fords are evil
Man crashes truck through gate at Texas capitol
AUSTIN, Texas (Reuters) -
A ranting man crashed a pickup truck through the metal front gate of the Texas capitol building Friday and tried to set the vehicle on fire before police seized him, officials said. Nobody was hurt when the Ford F-150 truck crashed through the gate and came to a stop there, about 250 yards from the capitol steps, said spokeswoman Tela Mange of the Texas Department of Public Safety. ``Witnesses said he was ranting and raving nonsensically. He tried to stick a lit cigarette down the truck's gas tank but failed, and at that point DPS officers detained him,'' Mange said. Police did not immediately know the motive for the late morning incident. The man initially identified himself as Casey Dale Jacobs, 30, but later told police that was not his name. He was being held by Austin police and could face charges of felony criminal mischief, which can carry a prison term of up to three years, Mange said.

Friends don't let Friends drive Fords. Friends let enemies.

Mopars and Music Everyone knows Mopars are musical. Ever hear a Hemi at idle? Thats sweet sweet music to me. Or a chirp goin into second. A beautiful ballad. Heck, even the warning buzzer on a Omni GLH is kinda soothing. The music industry has always had a love affair with Mopars. They are the perfect instrument! You should check this out. UPDATE! Look for an interview with the members of HEMICUDA next week!

Artists MisConception ;-)

more

Meanwhile, back at the shareholders meeting
The invite said to meet in front of the hotel. Well, i guess we

What the world needs now is...

Daimler to Offer a Monster S.U.V.
New York Times
By KEITH BRADSHER
DETROIT, Feb. 20 — With sport utility vehicles becoming bigger and bigger, perhaps it was inevitable: Freightliner, the nation's biggest maker of 18-wheelers, plans to start selling a four-wheel-drive vehicle that dwarfs even the largest family vehicles on the road.
Based on a German military transport, the vehicle, called the Unimog, makes even the Hummer look petite. It is 9 feet 7 inches tall, nearly the height of a basketball net and almost three feet taller than the tallest sport utility. Its front seat, mounted six feet high, is reached by a three-step ladder.
The Unimog is 20 feet long, more than a foot longer than the Ford Excursion, the longest sport utility on the market now. And it is nearly two feet wider than a typical car and 3.5 inches wider than even a Hummer, a General Motors vehicle based on an American military transport. The Unimog is so wide that, by federal regulation, it must carry truck marker lights across the top of the front and back.
Most remarkable is the Unimog's weight: 12,500 pounds. That is more than two Chevrolet Suburban sport utility vehicles or four Toyota Camry sedans. The company says the vehicle gets about 10 miles to the gallon of diesel fuel, less even than the most fuel-hungry sport utility vehicles and pickups.
"You don't need roads," says the cover of the Unimog sales brochure, "when you can make your own."
The vehicle will sell for a base price of $84,000. Freightliner will start taking orders for the Unimog in October, with manufacturing to begin in January, said Bruce Barnes, the Unimog marketing manager at Freightliner, which is owned by DaimlerChrysler A.G. Freightliner will sell the Unimog mainly in suburban markets, regardless of region.
The company's initial sales goals are modest. Freightliner hopes to sell 1,000 a year at first, with just 250 going to individuals — affluent off-road enthusiasts and people who simply like to drive noticeable vehicles. "Even in Scottsdale, Ariz.," Mr. Barnes said, "moms will want to take it to the grocery store. It's a head-turning vehicle."
The rest will go to fire departments and businesses that plan to adapt them for civic and commercial use. But if the vehicle is a success, production can be increased, Mr. Barnes said. more

A squirt of Starter Fluid
Ah, the smooth clean taste of cigarettes, and cow ass.

Oy! I don't know about you, but I think i'll stick with the poison.
I heard of getting a needle, but a little prick?

Cripey! That's one tough kid!

Try me! Hey, I might not be able to heal you... but i know i'll feel alot better!

They are watching.
As I awoke this morning I found an email in my emailbox (like, where else would it be). It was dark and mysterious. No, the email was, not the mailbox. Oh, anyway. The email contained 2 pictures. The email was signing "Hollywood loves Mopars". Hmm, Mr. X may have a point. These 2 survived, while the Ford died. Maybe HW has finally changed its ways? Time will tell..

(they still got it wrong... that aint a HemiCuda, at least not a real one)

Got news? Funny pictures? Stupid Ebay Auctions? Hot tips? Pictures of your girlfriend? Send em in! Just let me know if you want credit, or any weblink you want included.

Motorist Who Knocked Girl Down Wins Stress Damages
So next time your short on cash, run over a mime!

LONDON (Reuters) - A motorist who knocked down a young deaf mute after she ran out in front of his car was awarded more than $700,000 in damages Thursday for post-traumatic stress as a result of the accident. The court found that the accident, which badly injured the girl, had left motorist Mark Cooper, 28, in a "parlous" state of health. His condition was such that he was unable to run his scaffolding business, which collapsed, and his wife left with their children because of his behavior. The child was struck by Cooper after she ran out in front of his car from behind a parked vehicle. A London court made the award against a taxi driver who had been ferrying the 4-year-old to her home in 1991, as well as the firm the taxi driver worked for.

Drivers Wanted: Driving Test Ends in Railway Sandwich AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - A man was forced to abandon his driving test Wednesday when his car became stuck at a railway crossing and was ripped apart by two trains. The 22-year-old and his driving examiner made a hurried escape from the car when its engine cut out as it straddled the railway tracks near The Hague, police said. The car was first dragged 150 meters along the rails by one train, then pulled the other way by a train heading in the opposite direction. No one was injured, but train services between The Hague and Rotterdam have been severely delayed.

His job as valet worked out much better.

MoparLover dies from shock. Farmer quoted as saying "yep"
Think your strong enough to take the shock? You laugh when you see road kill? Bambi was a comedy? Well, my friend, get a load of this. But you were warned.